Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Why am I sad?

I looked at my hands today, but couldn´t bear to look at them for too long. The sight is unbearable. Then, as I looked away, I saw a man with no hands walk smiling down the street. He had no issue with the world. He didn´t hold a grudge nor hated his neighbor. He was fine. He was grateful for every new day. But I can´t. I cannot be grateful for these days forced to live in this valley of tears. What kind of sick joke is humanity? Always wanting what we don´t have. Envious of our neighbor, while we don´t even notice the tragedy next door. Why am I sad? I have not yet achieved numbness. But I will. They sell it in every corner. Sweet sweet forgetting. Sweet sweet forgiving...

I am not really that sad. I am just too sober. I see the world the way it is. Naked. Its tremendous ugliness is now evident. Who needs reality? Time to jump into my brain. The mere thought of life the way it really is depresses me...


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